A couple called me recently for couples counseling, trying to reconcile after being separated for nearly a year. They have young children and didn’t want to give up without another try. As in all such situations, they both felt deep hurt and had lots of resentments that had caused the separation in the first place. It’s so difficult to get past all that hurt.

But, he woke up one day and thought to himself, “I still love her and in spite of how hurt I feel, I don’t want to give up without a fight for my family to be together.” So, he got over his pride and called her. And he told her that he wanted to meet and talk. That led to both of them agreeing to try counseling one more time. They had tried before but they never felt a connection with their counselors and they didn’t continue. Another of my clients referred them and they called.

We dived deep right from the start. They could see how they had been competing from the beginning of their relationship. We quickly uncovered that they were competing to cover up the vulnerability they felt under the surface. Neither wanted to be feel how much they needed the other one. This led to her criticizing him all the time and him losing all his confidence and then rejecting her. Does any of this sound familiar

After just a couple of sessions, this couple opened up to each other in ways they had not done in their entire relationship. They began to develop new ways of communicating what they were really feeling, rather than defaulting to their old ways of hiding their vulnerability and being competitive. They began to heal the pain. They have hope again and can feel their love.

Can I completely heal from my past pain in this 3-month program?

It depends on many factors, some of which you can control and some of which we don’t know yet. What I can say is that deep changes can happen in this brief time period if you bring your commitment to going deep and your accountability to do all the assignments. And you get to decide if you want more after the experience you will have in the program. Most clients decide to continue with another level of the work because they fall in love with the liberating and exhilarating feeling of transformation!

Are you a Licensed Therapist? What is your experience?

Yes, I have been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist since 1985. I have nearly 35 years of experience. I am also a certified Intuitive Counselor, having dedicated decades in learning this powerful addition to my academic background.

Is this a religious program? I notice that you mention spirituality several times.

No, this is not a religious program. All the coursework and the principles that are taught are generic spiritual principles, like “Do what is for the highest good of all, including every individual.” Another is to treat the other person as you want to be treated. It is helpful for you to believe in some kind of higher power, because it helps you to develop your own intuitive connection, but even that is not required in any way. Clients of all faiths and no faiths are welcome and have participated.

I am married and my husband/wife doesn’t want to participate. Will this program be worthwhile if they don’t join in?

I hear this a lot from my clients who are in committed relationships. The answer is “Absolutely, you can benefit with or without your partner!” In any relationship, it takes both people to create the patterns that have developed. If one person changes, the interaction between the partners will change. There is no guarantee that you will be happier with this person, of course. You will become a happier, healthier individual, for sure, and you may decide that this partner is not for you. Or, sometimes, the changes you make alone shift things powerfully in the relationship and the other person changes for the better, also, without even participating. This may result in a significantly happier relationship.

What IS Intuitive Counseling? And why do you use it?

People think of intuition in different ways. Some people believe it’s the ability to access information from your unconscious mind. It is also described as the ability to access higher wisdom/consciousness by connecting to the divine energies. However you define it or describe it, it is the ability to access information, images, knowledge about the client without words or the usual manner of accessing that material. In my work, intuition supports me to see images that guide our sessions. It supports me to ask questions that get to the core of the issue quickly. It supports me to know when what you are saying is not the deepest truth and it supports us to continue to explore until we both “know” that what you are saying is “it.” Intuition helps to shortcut the usual counseling process by accessing deep material quickly.