Sacred Sexuality: Passionate Intimacy Without Shame
A couple came to me -- a couple that looked like they had it all. They were both great looking, had plenty of money, good business, beautiful home and children. They had tried to pretend that things were completely okay for a long time. The husband had resorted to exercising and playing sports constantly to refocus his sexual energy, so that he would not use masturbation and pornography. The wife had resigned herself to feeling disconnected and to having sex just to keep her husband “happy.” One day, the husband woke up and thought, “I don’t want to die feeling this unfulfilled with my wife! I am worthy of fighting for something more. I love my wife, but this is just not enough anymore.” When he spoke to his wife, she felt defeated and worried that she would be forced to do things she didn’t want to do. But, she loves her husband and she wanted him to be happy and she was sick of feeling a lack of sacredness in their intimacy. They agreed that it was time for them to face this issue together. And, they were both scared to do it, but they called me.
They had both experienced trauma as children. They knew at some level that these old painful patterns were showing up now. They committed to diving deep, bringing all they had to breaking free of these old patterns. After just a few sessions, things began to shift. They began to be more open and honest with each other and they began to understand each other much more deeply. She realized that she used withholding sex as power, after a life of feeling she had so little power. She had disconnected from her own passion due to feeling ashamed of her sexuality as a child. He realized that he wanted his wife to want him constantly sexually to satisfy a deep and unmet longing for attention from his chronically ill mother. He was desperate to control the love coming his way, just like he tried to control the love coming from his mother.
After understanding these completely unconscious patterns, they were able to begin to see what was really going on. They were able to see how other issues related to their past traumas were showing up in their sexuality and in other areas. They began to shift the energy in their marriage, both in and out of the bedroom. By integrating the session work, doing home assignments, exercises and developing a sacred sexual ritual, they began to create a new way of being together. They both expanded their feelings of freedom and self-expression sexually and in all areas of life. Both feel more self-expressed and understood. This is after just a few sessions with much more to come.
Sacred Sexuality: Passionate Intimacy without Shame
Establishing new, powerful tools and skills and ways of being and of relating to yourself and your partner, based on a deep understanding of what each feels and wants.
Coaching: You will be receiving four powerful coaching sessions per month for 3 months. These sessions will consist of deep explorations into your ways of relating, understanding your sexuality and relationship dynamics and rapid movement into the future with skill building.
- Deep exploration/relaxation/visualization in order to access trauma and pain that is inhibiting your sexuality, explore it and heal it
- Shifting your perspectives about what sexuality is and what it can be
- Exploring family dynamics to discover subconscious beliefs you still carry that might be interfering in sexual pleasure
- Exploring relationship dynamics and how they unconsciously relate to your sexuality
- Bring clarity to both partners about how each plays a part in current situation
- Understanding how resentments and unclear communication affect sex
- Establishing new, powerful communication skills to expand your sexuality.
- Expanding your intimacy in all areas
- Learn skills that will strengthen your feelings of safety and connection
Life Tools: You will have access to the tools that I have developed in 35 years of experience. They will be available both in the form of written checklists and a video that explains each tool in detail and how to use that tool in your daily life.
Exercises: There will be action items between sessions that support your transformation. These exercises are especially important for couples as they strengthen the bond, provide experiences of collaboration and build trust. There will be specific sexual exercises that enhance intimacy and bonding.
Resources: You will receive a customized list of resources that I recommend for you to use. These will include books, videos, podcasts, self-help groups, and other activities.
Mindfulness Library: You will have access to private meditation videos to specifically guide you through healing, relaxation and intimacy-building processes. There will also be private meditation videos to support you in a daily practice of meditation as a foundation for an experience of greater overall well-being. This will include guided journaling exercises to accompany each video.
Access: Your sessions will take place via video-conferencing. You will also have access to me via a private message channel during the work week.
$3000 for couples
“I have worked extensively with many of the most renowned authorities in the area of consciousness and sexuality over the past 30 years and I feel that Helen is one of our national treasures. Her passion to discover and awaken the freedom and joy within is contagious. She offers a level of intuitive insight and transformational wisdom that is so real, so human and so liberating that I feel blessed and honored each time we work together.” – Spar Street, Internationally Acclaimed Painter/Sculptor
“I wanted to tell you that after our last session, my wife and I, specifically my wife, had an enormous breakthrough in the bedroom. In reality it was not in the bedroom, but in her being. She was not ashamed of herself and her sexuality anymore. She was free to be herself. In turn she was free to love me how I’ve always longed to be loved in the bedroom. Passionately and freely!!”– Anonymous
“Working with Helen is one of the best decisions I have made. So worth the investment! Her style, approach and wisdom has allowed me to go deeper into my relationship patterns, and into those shadow places creating a kind of healing that has changed all the areas of my life in such a positive way.”– Deana Brandt, LMFT, RCC; Canada
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Helen, for creating this series and bringing conscious, courageous, honest, playful, sacred and refreshing perspectives. What a beautiful honest and informative interview series it was! At last putting sex (and how it can be) in its rightful place as a deeply playful, heart full, creative, intimate, soulful, body /mind spirited orgasmic divine cosmic connection. And without the attachments of shame, guilt and fear that we have been fed all our lives! Thank you, Helen, for bringing the notion of safety and releasing shame again and again to the interviews.”– Anonymous
“The other night, he wanted to give me oral sex…saying he loved that part of me. At first I said, ‘No, that’s okay.’ and he said, ‘How can I make you feel more relaxed?’ I realized that I didn’t feel objectified at all, like I used to. I realized I was safe and could relax and receive and it was a wonderful experience. And the same goes for me giving him oral sex. I used to do it once a year on his birthday, but we have had more oral sex in the last two months than the last 23 years. There is great healing happening! I used to think that he was more sexual, but I see that actually I am! And, it doesn’t mean that I am a slut! This is all thanks to the work we are doing with you!” – S.S.
Can I completely heal my sexuality in this 3-month program?
It depends on many factors, some of which you can control and some of which we don’t know yet. What I can say is that deep changes can happen in this brief time period if you bring your commitment to going deep and your accountability to do all the assignments. And you get to decide if you want more after the experience you will have in the program. Most clients decide to continue with another level of the work because they fall in love with the liberating and exhilarating feeling of transformation!
Are you a Licensed Therapist? What is your experience?
Yes, I have been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist since 1985. I have nearly 35 years of experience. I am also a certified Intuitive Counselor, having dedicated decades in learning this powerful addition to my academic background.
Is this a religious program? I notice that you mention spirituality several times.
No, this is not a religious program. All the coursework and the principles that are taught are generic spiritual principles, like “Do what is for the highest good of all, including every individual.” Another is to treat the other person as you want to be treated. It is helpful for you to believe in some kind of higher power, because it helps you to develop your own intuitive connection, but even that is not required in any way. Clients of all faiths and no faiths are welcome and have participated.
I am married and my husband/wife doesn’t want to participate. Will this program be worthwhile if they don’t join in?
I hear this a lot from my clients who are in committed relationships. The answer is “Absolutely, you can benefit with or without your partner!” In any relationship, it takes both people to create the patterns that have developed. If one person changes, the interaction between the partners will change. There is no guarantee that you will be happier with this person, of course. You will become a happier, healthier individual, for sure, and you may decide that this partner is not for you. Or, sometimes, the changes you make alone shift things powerfully in the relationship and the other person changes for the better, also, without even participating. This may result in a significantly happier relationship. Whatever happens, you will be much more in touch with your sexuality and how it integrates with your spirituality. Also, many times one partner will come first and the other will decide to join in the process once they see that the program is working.
What IS Intuitive Counseling? And why do you use it?
People think of intuition in different ways. Some people believe it’s the ability to access information from your unconscious mind. It is also described as the ability to access higher wisdom/consciousness by connecting to the divine energies. However you define it or describe it, it is the ability to access information, images, knowledge about the client without words or the usual manner of accessing that material. In my work, intuition supports me to see images that guide our sessions. It supports me to ask questions that get to the core of the issue quickly. It supports me to know when what you are saying is not the deepest truth and it supports us to continue to explore until we both “know” that what you are saying is “it.” Intuition helps to shortcut the usual counseling process by accessing deep material quickly.