I’m Not A Failure: I’m Just Experimenting With What Doesn’t Work

We carry so much pain about all the stupid mistakes we make in life. Unless we can laugh about it, we will continue to carry that shame and pain. Why not see it as learning? As long as we are learning from what we are doing, it’s part of our evolution! Just as every relapse is part of our recovery, as long as we are learning from them! And, yes, our stubborn commitment to the ego and instant gratification cause us untold amounts of needless pain, as well! But, let’s keep seeing it all as part of the process! It’s so much better than shaming ourselves and feeling like a failure!

When I have had “failed” relationships, even marriages, is that a failure? Many think it is, but I don’t. I would say that I learned so much from each relationship in my life, preparing me for more and more successful relationships. Do we really think we should end up with the first relationship we ever have? Nobody would say so! What is any different about a job, an entrepreneurial endeavor or anything else we try that doesn’t “work out?”

Is that denial? It depends on your outlook, I suppose, but, honestly, we ARE always learning something. Keep seeing your process as moving you forward and you will be motivated to keep doing just that! We were brought up in a society that uses shame to control us, believing that it will make us “do better,” but it does the opposite! So, drop it! Let’s use consciousness to learn from instead!

Instead of judging ourselves because we weren’t “successful” at something, let’s embrace the concept of asking ourselves, “What did I learn from this experience?” Every experience can be rich in opportunity to learn and grow. Give yourself credit for your determination to keep going! Give yourself compassion for it taking longer than you like. Give yourself the support you are worthy of to make the journey clearer and easier to follow!  And breathe and relax into the process of living!


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