Body Shame: How Can Anyone Love Your Body If You Don’t?


Where did so many women learn to hate their bodies? You were not born hating your body. It is something that you learned. Realize that you have been brainwashed by a society that values a completely unrealistic view of what both women and men should look and act like. Be aware that if are a woman, that you have been dominated by the male patriarchy to hate your body and to NOT feel sexual, so that you can be kept down. It’s just a part of male domination. And men have their own insecurities, of course.

Take the time to look back and explore what messages you received about your body and about sexuality and evaluate whether you believe them or not NOW. Take responsibility for loving your OWN body now, no matter what shape your body is in. So often, we want someone to reassure us about the attractiveness of our bodies, especially if we don’t feel attractive. But, we get to learn to love our own bodies first.

  • What is a beautiful body? Its’ your body, that’s what! So, how do you begin to love the body you have? First, you realize that it’s absolutely divine! And to let that really sink it, you get to develop a spiritual practice…doesn’t matter what it is…but it reminds you that you are NOT alone or unloved. You are part of the magic and mystery of the ONENESS and you were made the way you are…with the challenges that you face. Remember that the Universe made your body and, therefore, it is sacred. Do this practice every single day, to counteract the decades of input to the contrary.


  • Next, how about practicing gratitude for the body that you have? Be grateful for your health and for whatever DOES work. Do exercises in front of the mirror, loving and tenderly touching all the parts of your body, telling each and every part that you love and appreciate them and their functions. Take better care of the body that you DO have. We can all improve how sacredly we treat our bodies. Our bodies need exercise and proper nutrition. Move your body. Touch your body. Find pleasure in your body. Let it dance, and sing and move to music…let it touch and feel textures…use it to SEE the beauty.


  • And, express your self-love in the way you see yourself in the mirror. Buy clothes that express your creativity and artistry, clothes that you love. Some of you wear make-up, others don’t…but it’s not about that. It’s about expressing your own self-love in the way you dress and care for your hygiene. Get your hair cut in a way you love. Again, it’s not about anyone else’s opinion but your own. Care for your skin and nails and toenails…care for each and every part of your body. Put on lotions with smells that make you happy.

Do these practices as often as you can and they will make a      difference in the way you feel about your body and yourself. Not to mention that you might need some counseling to discover things that you don’t even know about yourself yet. It’s a process. It took time to develop the feelings you have about your body, and it will take time to heal them.

And If you have a partner who shames your body, you get to ask them why and how they feel about themselves that would make them shame you. That’s not love. They can love you as you are and encourage you to love your body and treat it well. If not, you will become more and more distant. You will never feel safe with a person who makes derogatory comments and has negative feelings about your body that you two can’t talk about. And, you will never be able to process either of your feelings if you keep looking to them for reassurance instead of developing love for your own body. Take it on! You can do it!

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